via quickmeme.com
IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HUH!?
Well, things have not been easy since July. I've been busy moving for the past 2 months, and even though it's almost over, It's STILL NOT OVER. I've been very lax in getting work done - even though my work was recently featured on Cult of Occult's European version of "Five Degrees Of Insanity" and also on VHOD's upcoming "Dreamcleaver" cover. Actually, I'm really excited about those albums, I'm ecstatic! And very grateful to Cult of Occult and VHOD, especially.
My problem is with myself and my circumstances lately. To be able to move in to the next house, we were told over 3 times "Oh, definitely by.... [blah blah blah]" just to have it rescheduled again. I know this is not an exact science, and things don't always work out when so many different parties are involved, but I'm by nature a pessimist so I find it hard to see the good things (which DO exist, and very clear to anyone who isn't me!) in it. But I can deal with that. No prob. I was able to find a way to get to Canada to visit my fiancé Corey (of Dramatic Situations renown...heyoooo! Free endorsement!) for 2 weeks that I would never want to say "didn't matter." If I could, I'd fly up there again in a heartbeat. But I don't have the money. I love my Corey to bits! I miss him terribly.
And you know...those things can be gotten through. I know how petty I can sound and I take some things way too seriously that shouldn't even merit attention. And I want to publicly thank my brother-in-law Jason for allowing my family to house up in his house for such an indefinite period of time while we wait for our new home. And this time I actually have an Internet connection! I work on the internet, so it's kinda necessary. (Before anyone wonders - no I don't have a smartphone, I have a $25 flip-phone because I'm cheap and I don't have an iPad because that crap is too expensive. I don't have a laptop either. So I can't work "on the go" or away from home. This time however, I do have my home computer set up here. So there. And again, thank you to Jason!)
So no, nothing I've brought up can't be gotten through, it just really tests my patience. I don't even have patience to begin with, so... yeah.
But this last part is the worst, the most exasperating and even frightening. I woke up almost 4 weeks ago unable to feel my left hand, or at least part of it. Now, this happens a lot, to more people than just me. Wake up from sleeping with an arm in a weird position, and you'll wake up sooner than the arm does. I'm old, so I have blood pressure medication that tends to make all my extremities fall asleep pretty fast if I don't move around enough.
But the difference is that this hand and its numbness (which would usually go away by nighttime) is still numb, almost a month later.
I can't use my left hand much. The last two fingers (pinky and ring finger) are absolutely numb. They're alive (I only know because I have to keep touching them in order to make sure they're still warm and have some blood flow), but they don't work. The other three fingers are extremely weak, I can barely hold onto anything without dropping it a few times. I'm sitting here now typing with my right hand and my left index finger, because that's all it's good for (and it takes a while too).
In fact, the entire arm is injured, the numbness radiates from my hand to near my elbow, and one of the triceps is pulled very very tight. I've seen 2 chiropractors so far, and apparently I have a pinched nerve in my neck which needs to be relieved. It causes something similar to what's called "ulnar nerve entrapment" at the root of the nerve, between vertebrae. And it's the same reason my other (right) hand has had numbness in the past. The problem with this is that setting nerve tissue right again doesn't keep it from being just as swollen or inflamed as it is already, so I'll need to go through some process of rehabilitation for a pretty short time until that nerve calms down - AFTER the cervical vertebrae are set properly again (somehow...surgery?! I hope not!) and the spinal nerve can breathe again. That may take about 2 weeks alone, from what I know.
So, essentially I'm just really pissed off that all this crap is happening together at the same damn time. First world problems, as usual. We still all have a choice whether or not to piss and moan, so I'm exercising that choice now. I know I'm usually fortunate and that all of this can be fixed, but at this point the only answers I've gotten for anything always amount to "hurry up and wait." So... I'll wait. If I'm absent from the interwebz for a while, this is why. (I mean I've been pretty absent for 2 months or so now - it won't seem any different.)
So, yeah. I hope I can get back to work soon, as I'm not making any money. And anyway, I MISS PAINTING! I had to pack everything away, but still haven't used it since June. At least my right arm works, that's the dominant one. Fuck yeah, one right thumb up!
Well, things have not been easy since July. I've been busy moving for the past 2 months, and even though it's almost over, It's STILL NOT OVER. I've been very lax in getting work done - even though my work was recently featured on Cult of Occult's European version of "Five Degrees Of Insanity" and also on VHOD's upcoming "Dreamcleaver" cover. Actually, I'm really excited about those albums, I'm ecstatic! And very grateful to Cult of Occult and VHOD, especially.
My problem is with myself and my circumstances lately. To be able to move in to the next house, we were told over 3 times "Oh, definitely by.... [blah blah blah]" just to have it rescheduled again. I know this is not an exact science, and things don't always work out when so many different parties are involved, but I'm by nature a pessimist so I find it hard to see the good things (which DO exist, and very clear to anyone who isn't me!) in it. But I can deal with that. No prob. I was able to find a way to get to Canada to visit my fiancé Corey (of Dramatic Situations renown...heyoooo! Free endorsement!) for 2 weeks that I would never want to say "didn't matter." If I could, I'd fly up there again in a heartbeat. But I don't have the money. I love my Corey to bits! I miss him terribly.
And you know...those things can be gotten through. I know how petty I can sound and I take some things way too seriously that shouldn't even merit attention. And I want to publicly thank my brother-in-law Jason for allowing my family to house up in his house for such an indefinite period of time while we wait for our new home. And this time I actually have an Internet connection! I work on the internet, so it's kinda necessary. (Before anyone wonders - no I don't have a smartphone, I have a $25 flip-phone because I'm cheap and I don't have an iPad because that crap is too expensive. I don't have a laptop either. So I can't work "on the go" or away from home. This time however, I do have my home computer set up here. So there. And again, thank you to Jason!)
So no, nothing I've brought up can't be gotten through, it just really tests my patience. I don't even have patience to begin with, so... yeah.
But this last part is the worst, the most exasperating and even frightening. I woke up almost 4 weeks ago unable to feel my left hand, or at least part of it. Now, this happens a lot, to more people than just me. Wake up from sleeping with an arm in a weird position, and you'll wake up sooner than the arm does. I'm old, so I have blood pressure medication that tends to make all my extremities fall asleep pretty fast if I don't move around enough.
But the difference is that this hand and its numbness (which would usually go away by nighttime) is still numb, almost a month later.
I can't use my left hand much. The last two fingers (pinky and ring finger) are absolutely numb. They're alive (I only know because I have to keep touching them in order to make sure they're still warm and have some blood flow), but they don't work. The other three fingers are extremely weak, I can barely hold onto anything without dropping it a few times. I'm sitting here now typing with my right hand and my left index finger, because that's all it's good for (and it takes a while too).
In fact, the entire arm is injured, the numbness radiates from my hand to near my elbow, and one of the triceps is pulled very very tight. I've seen 2 chiropractors so far, and apparently I have a pinched nerve in my neck which needs to be relieved. It causes something similar to what's called "ulnar nerve entrapment" at the root of the nerve, between vertebrae. And it's the same reason my other (right) hand has had numbness in the past. The problem with this is that setting nerve tissue right again doesn't keep it from being just as swollen or inflamed as it is already, so I'll need to go through some process of rehabilitation for a pretty short time until that nerve calms down - AFTER the cervical vertebrae are set properly again (somehow...surgery?! I hope not!) and the spinal nerve can breathe again. That may take about 2 weeks alone, from what I know.
credit & thank you to "wp" and the boardofwisdom.com
So, essentially I'm just really pissed off that all this crap is happening together at the same damn time. First world problems, as usual. We still all have a choice whether or not to piss and moan, so I'm exercising that choice now. I know I'm usually fortunate and that all of this can be fixed, but at this point the only answers I've gotten for anything always amount to "hurry up and wait." So... I'll wait. If I'm absent from the interwebz for a while, this is why. (I mean I've been pretty absent for 2 months or so now - it won't seem any different.)
So, yeah. I hope I can get back to work soon, as I'm not making any money. And anyway, I MISS PAINTING! I had to pack everything away, but still haven't used it since June. At least my right arm works, that's the dominant one. Fuck yeah, one right thumb up!
ANYWAYYYY....I'll see you later, peeps. Love you all! - jen
