Still Evolving...

The last time I left off with my most recent work, it looked like this:

I liked it, but it still seemed too inhuman, and even though this is more abstract for me than usual, it still had lost its humanity. So today I was doodling around with my brushes and continued to this:

 Slightly better, but things still seem off. So I kept painting, and as of now, I'm pausing with this:

And I think I'll stay here for the moment.

Old Classics

"I Wish I Could Remember Your Face"

I painted this in 1999/2000 when I was starting to finally get my "art-mojo" working for the first time. Every painting I do is a self portrait, no matter the subject or image. At this time, I was trying to overcome the pain of a therapist who was the first ever to help me out of very serious depression. He was only a resident, and took care of me for several months. At that point he probably knew more about me than anyone else. A few months later, he took a new job after his residency was over. I was blindsided by this, still extremely sick, and devastated. I did many paintings like this to work my pain out. For the first time I realized how much power and healing there is in expressing yourself on canvas. I've painted ever since.

Now, We're Going Back.

Since we last let off, I've been working on the original screw-up to go back to normal.

So I worked for a while and got to something beginning to resemble the original idea.

Slightly better! Later I came to stop at this point...

And this is where I decided I was done for the night. Still in reverse, but at least now I have a point where I can start back over again. So I'm happy with it! 

How to Really Screw Up A Painting

So...when I last posted this painting it looked like this:

Which is totally fine and dandy, I was happy. But it's still not done.

So, the last time I worked on it, I tried to add some..."personality", I guess one would say. So I added an upturned lip, some teeth, and made the eye bigger, and unhappily it then looked like this...

And damn! I was pissed with myself. It's too cartoonish and less realistic (relatively speaking)! Since this photo though, I went away for the Christmas holiday and went back to the painting the same night I came home. It's looking better now, I backtracked a good bit. So, until the next updated evo, your going to have to look at this misstep. Enjoy! Or...not? Up to you.
Both photos copyright Jeni Fitts, 2014