Either it's just me, or everyone has been here. You do something dumb, and then go from merely "dumb" to "callous" to "outrageously stupid and mean." Even worse is when it goes on and on and you don't notice any of it (while everyone around you does), until one day you finally do something so bad, you see all the hurt you've caused to people you love. You can actually see the grotesque being you have become in the mirror. "What have I become?!"
This may actually be more about me, or even the nature of mental illness itself, than anyone else, but I'd like to think I'm not alone in this position. I painted this over 2 nights or so in 2003, with a companion piece that isn't quite so detailed. I remember when I finally went to sleep after a night of painting (well, 2 of them) that this actually scared me to look at across the room from my bed! (I live in my studio). But it just goes to show, no one likes to be confronted with who they might sometimes turn into. But it's even worse when you accuse yourself of this when you haven't done anything wrong, either. Be careful (and accurate!) when passing judgment on yourself or anyone else, or this is who you'll find in the mirror.
